I hear frustrations from families constantly about how much of the college admissions process feels completely out of their control. While it’s true that students can’t control every aspect of admissions outcomes, focusing on what they CAN control helps provide perspective and agency during this challenging time.

 

When families step back and look at the broader picture, they often realize students have more control over their college journey than they initially thought. Here are the key areas where students hold real power in shaping their experience and outcomes.

 

In this three-part series on TakeMetoYourLawyer.com – we’ll explore:

 

  1. The things your student can do to prepare
  2. The college application process
  3. Wrapping up the final decision and looking ahead

 

Now – let’s get started.  Here’s our perspective on the things your student can be doing.

Extracurricular Activities and Level of Involvement

For younger students just entering high school, there’s significant control over choices of extracurricular activities and depth of involvement, whether through school, community organizations, or other opportunities outside the classroom.

This remains true for older students as well, though the window for major changes becomes shorter later in high school. The key principle I always share with students: if it’s not working for you, it’s not the right thing to be doing.

Our practice is committed to helping families understand that activity choices should be made in the context of well-being and health, in addition to how they might help students grow outside the classroom. Taking care of themselves is the most important factor.

Students can control:

  • What activities they choose to pursue
  • How deeply they want to get involved
  • How busy they allow themselves to become
  • When to step back from commitments that aren’t serving them

Academic Choices Throughout High School

Another significant area of control involves academic decisions: what classes to take and how to challenge yourself throughout high school.

I recognize that many high schools have structures and parameters that might gatekeep certain classes to some extent. However, there’s usually opportunity at some point to make meaningful choices about coursework.

Students can influence:

  • Course selection within available options
  • Level of academic challenge they’re ready to handle
  • Sequencing of advanced classes
  • Balance between rigor and well-being

Effort: Always Under Student Control

One thing that’s always within a student’s power to control is their effort—in the classroom, in activities outside of school, and in simply being a good person. These are valuable life lessons about how you show up and where you put forth your best effort.

This is an important reminder we can give students without being naggy as parents. From a supportive perspective, when students are looking for something they can control, effort is always available to them.

Effort applies to:

  • Academic performance and engagement
  • Commitment to extracurricular activities
  • Personal character and relationships
  • Growth mindset and resilience

 

Next week – we’ll dig into the application process itself … see you soon!

Author: Kim Stodghill

With nearly 30 years of experience in education, Kim Stodghill has worked with young adults in roles ranging from coach to advisor, in both colleges and independent schools. To Kim, college is all about fit; thus, her primary goal is to help each student find the ideal match for the next phase of their education– academically, socially, spiritually, and financially. She knows college is as much about education in the classroom as it is about gaining the skills to be a successful adult. Learn more about Kim's work at www.stodghillconsulting.com. And email Kim directly at kim@stodghillconsulting.com.